Depression Help

I would like to start this post out by saying that I think I may be coming out of my depression, or depression-like state. I won’t say for certain that I was or am depressed, as I have not been diagnosed or anything of that nature. I am however willing to say that, whatever I was in, I am coming out of. It may be temporary, it may be permanent, I don’t know. It started out last week, near the end of the week, I just started feeling…well…better. I’m still not in the clear, and it’s an uphill battle from here to undo what I’ve done to myself mentally, and to those I love, but it’ll get there. I’ve been doing a number of things a little differently, but there’s one thing that I changed very recently versus when I started to feel better (and by very recently I mean 24 hours prior). I added Turmeric capsules to my mornings (http://smile.amazon.com/dp/B0017OFR5Q). I’m not trying to sell these capsules, I have no stake in them, and I’m definitely not a case study by any means. Have they helped me? It’s possible, there was little time between when I started taking these and when my mood was elevated. I’ve kept taking them, and honestly, I’ve continued to feel ok. Is it strictly them? Probably not, I’ve been doing a number of things (writing, electro-experimental music creation, drawing, reading, etc.) that may be helping me, but one thing is for sure, they haven’t hurt. SO, my final suggestion, if you can spare the $11, give them a shot, they may help. If they don’t, you’re out $11 and can keep trying other things.

You may be asking yourself, is there any reason to expect that these are helpful for depression? The answer is a straight-forward, no-doubt-possible, 100% POSSIBLY. 1 2 3 4 5 There is no certainty, but it COULD help, and that’s the point I’m trying to make. If you are having trouble getting to the point you want to be, and don’t want to take Anti-Depressants (and while I understand the struggle mentally with taking AD’s, you should always consider the possibility if you find that nothing else works) maybe trying something natural could help some. They also smell like cinnamon in my opinion (or pizza in my lovely fiancé’s opinion.) Please remember that I am NOT A DOCTOR and am not able to offer any medical advice. I am here solely expressing that something MAY help, and it’s up to you figure out the rest. If it helps, great, if not, keep trying. Again, if you are severely depressed, or depressed in general, you should consider seeing a doctor. There is always the possibility that anti-depressants are what will help you. I want nothing more than for those suffering to get better.

I don’t really have much to discuss today, so I think I’ll find another article to discuss. I’ve mentioned that I love the site Lifehack.org6. They post stories regularly in one of 6 main categories, but have a total of 16 topics that they discuss frequently. The 6 are the top level and the rest are sub categories. Regardless, it is easy to find things that you want to read on the site. I spend most of my time in the subcategories of… well…Honestly I looked them over and couldn’t choose one or two. I think the ONLY ones I don’t go to are iOS and mac, and that’s because they don’t honestly interest me.

LifeHack is your typical “X number of things that…” style of website like Cracked or Buzzfeed. Granted I think that Cracked is funny and Buzzfeed is, well, Buzzfeed, Lifehack has stories that grab my interest, and has honestly found its place in my PaperMind. I love their style, I love their topics, and I love their categories. Right now, I’m reading an article that I would like to discuss, because it may help some people out of a rut. The article on Lifehack.org that I am reading is titled “10 Morning Habits of Highly Successful People that Make Them Extraordinary.”7

This article is your fairly typical LifeHack article. They do their research, they list the ideas, and they explain them. I love the way they present their information, and honestly I would love to dissect their articles and present them to my readers (all 3 of you, I love you all!) and potentially learn something. So here we go… Due to me not wanting to type 5000 words, I am going to cut this list down to the points that I feel are most important. I still suggest you read the article, and do your own research on the matters.

Indra Nooyi (The CEO Of Pepsi) wakes up REALLY EARLY. This sounds like “early bird gets the worm” hodgepodge, but there may actually be some truth to it. LifeHack touts that waking up early gives you more time in your day, and more time that you have control over. I couldn’t agree more with these statements. If you have to be at work at 8:30AM, but often times find yourself waking up at 7:40AM, with a 15 minute drive between home and work (guilty…) you pretty much have 35 minutes between rushing out of bed to the minute you have to rush out the door. That leaves no time for yourself, and puts you in a work state of mind directly out of sleep. That’s a horrible idea as you are immediately introducing stress into your day and you go from sleeping to stress right off the plate. The alternative suggestion is waking up earlier in the day. There are actually known benefits to waking up earlier8. It’s actually more natural to wake up earlier than it is to sleep in, the world wakes up with the sun, and that’s what we should be doing as well. Another benefit is, as stated above, having more you time. Having time for yourself to do those things you want to do is incredibly important for your well-being. Sure, you aren’t going be able to go to the movies at 5:43 in the morning, but you can go for a walk, watch something on Netflix, paint, draw, learn a new skill….Opportunities are honestly endless. I’m not going to go through all of the benefits, but I’ve put some decent, and fairly quick reads in the sources. 9 10
Tony Robbins (A Motivational Speaker) says that you should do an HOUR OF POWER! This sounds cheesy. Oh yes, yes indeed it does. You know why? Because it is cheesy! What exactly is an hour of power? It’s time taken to listen to/Do anything that motivates you. Maybe you could spend your time being motivated by the current top selling audiobook. Maybe a youtube search of Motivational videos is what you need. Maybe your motivation comes from exercise, prayer, meditation or goal setting11. Whatever it is, DO IT! Doing so will help you feel better from the beginning of the day, straight through the end of the day. Basically, if it makes you scream “CARPE DIEM!” do it in the morning before you are obligated to doing anything else. Oh, and LifeHack suggests doing it for 30 minutes…that actually makes this a half hour of power…
Steve jobs (You probably know who this guy was) says that you should ask yourself one question. And that question is “If today was the last day of my life, would I still want to do what I am about to do today?” No lie, the answer is probably always going to be no for me. If I knew that it was going to be my last day, I wouldn’t pack up my laptop, get in my car and drive 15 minutes down K-10 to the office. However, reflecting on your dislike of your job isn’t the purpose of this question. The purpose is to get you to think about how you are living your life and what you should change. If you find yourself answering no regularly, then you should consider a change. I’ve linked another WP blog 13 that has a ton more information, including the video where he said this quote, in the references. I’m not a huge fan of Apple or Jobs, but this is an inspirational question.
Brian Tracy (an Author) States that you should eat a frog…not really. Ok, so he didn’t actually say eat a frog, but eat YOUR frog. Once you get into your motivated state, and you’ve answered the hard hitting questions, you should look at the things you desperately need to get done, but have been putting off. Essentially, the purpose of the “eat the Frog” idea is to get you to do one of 4 things 13 (Hey look, my research led me back to Lifehack!) Something you want to do, but don’t necessarily need to do. Something you don’t want to do, but need to do. Something you want to do and need to do. And/Or Something you don’t want to do, and don’t necessarily need to do. There’s an order in which you should do the things, but I look at this way, if you do anything, and you get it out of the way, then you’ve done something, and that is all that matters.
Christin Galib (a banking executive) says that you should Plan and Strategize. I’m not surprised to see this kind of thing on this list. One of the biggest things you can do is map out what you are going to do with your day, with your week, year and even life. Using a strategy, or a laid out plan, to handle everything can actually help people that have attention issues, or need help following a plan. I suggest doing things from a larger picture and drawing them down to the microscopic point of view. Start with the BIG things, what are you wanting out of life. Do you have a set goal? If so, Write it down, if you have several, write them all down and map them together. The next thing to do is to mark it down to the year, what do you want to accomplish by the end of 20XX. (I’m stopping there, because I’m guessing that by 2100 nobody will be reading my blog). Bring this in to the end of the week, and then the end of the day. Rework the goals as the weeks/days pass. Overall, the main reasoning here is so you have clearly defined goals along a clearly defined path.

So there you have it, the 5 top things that I agree with. The other 5 are good, BUT I felt that these 5 were the better, and I didn’t want to write a book here. The other 5 are included below, but I still implore you to please go read the article and continue on.

Don’t stare directly at the sun.

Lucas C.

REMAINDER:

Ursula Burns (the CEO of XEROX) says to burn your calories.
Wendy Key (pharmaceutical Exec) says to jot down in your gratitude journal.
Obie Mackenzi (BlackRob Managing Director) tells you to connect with your partnet.
Manisha Thakor (MoneyZen wealth management) says to meditate and CLEAR YOUR MIND
Judi Rosenthal (a financial planner) challenges you to cuddle and bond with your children.

My last post was one on depression, and it was built to be aimed towards people that are/may be depressed. It’s hard to acknowledge that you’re depressed, or may be depressed, and I believe that’s what makes it so hard to simply accept what you are going through. This post isn’t directed towards those that are depressed, it’s for the ones that are wanting to help, or know someone in their life that is depressed. Again…depression isn’t feeling sad, it’s a serious issue and something that a number of people go through on a constant basis.

I found this post about a letter than someone wrote when they were depressed, and clinically determined to be so. ¹ It’s a good read and I really like that she shared it on the internet because it exemplifies a number of the things that people feel when they are needing help the most. I would like to take a moment to dissect some of the things she was feeling in order to demonstrate that these are things people think when they feel hopeless. Sure, this letter has a religious overtone to it, but I honestly don’t care. If faith is what it takes for you to feel better, then embrace it. To me it’s no different than if you take up painting.

“When I had all these things happening to me, I was scared; I didn’t know what was wrong with me. I was blaming myself.”
- We’ve all been there. We have always been told that we are a product of our actions, and that what happens to us is, more often than not, in our control. Now imagine feeling hopeless, worthless, and like your life is pointless. Now imagine feeling that all of these thoughts are your fault. This becomes a never ending cycle. “I’m worthless and it’s my fault. It’s my fault that I’m worthless.”
“I felt stupid for feeling depressed; I thought that it was something that I should be able to control myself and just stop.”
- This is incredibly common, and it’s incredibly dangerous. People think that depression is just being sad and that people should just stop and be happy. That’s not how this works. If people could just turn off depression, they would; trust me.
“I could see my depression was having a bad impact on them.”
- This is the easiest way to get a person that’s depressed to shut you out, and possibly make the worst decision possible. If you start to tell them that their depression is affecting you, or you make it obvious that their depression is a problem for you, what are they supposed to do? Unfortunately, if someone is in a deep depression and they feel that they are a burden…what do you think will happen?
  - Some facts on suicide²: ~40,000 Americans commit suicide each year. Most of them don’t seek help. For those of us between 15 and 24, suicide is the second leading cause of death. 15% of all people (that’s 15 out of every hundred) will kill themselves while they are depressed. For every 1 person that successfully commits suicide, approximately 8 to 25 are attempted. Approximately one person successfully commits suicide every 13.3 minutes.

One section that I want to point out is this part right here; “I felt like I was being selfish, acting in that way that worried everyone”. This is one of the most important things to remember when you are talking to someone that is depressed, and is one of the main points to this post; you should never tell someone that it’s their fault they are depressed. That being said, and again, the reason of this post, I’ve been thinking about what you should NOT say to someone that is depressed. Here’s a list of things that end up counterproductive when you say them to someone that’s depressed.

“It’s your fault you are sad.”
1. I would like to point out that telling someone that it’s their fault will not help the situation, EVER. Much like you should never tell a rape victim it’s their fault, a murder victim’s family that it’s their fault, or a veteran with PTSD that it’s their fault, you should NEVER tell someone that is depress that it’s their fault. This leads to further doubt in one’s self and will lead them to not seek help, because “it’s their fault”.
“Just get help.”
1. Suggesting help is great. Saying that they should just get help isn’t. This is akin to saying something like “Well it’s not that big a deal, just go spill your guts to someone else.” It’s not that easy, especially if you are one of the 13%⁸ that suffer from anxiety issues (that’s about 41,456,330 in the US alone.⁹)
“Yeah. I’m depressed too.” Or “That’s Ok I blah blah…” OR “That’s nothing, I’ve been feeling…”
1. If someone comes to you and tells you that they are depressed, they trust you. They expect that you are one of the few people in their life that can help them overcome this problem. If you are actually depressed as well, fine, but stating that you have it worse or that you are more depressed makes things worse. This isn’t a pissing contest, it has nothing to do with HOW depressed someone is, it’s about seeking help and getting out of this frame of mind. If you start to turn it into a contest, this can lead to self-blame and further complicate matters. If you truly are depressed, talk it out with the person that is trusting you with their problems. Get through this together.
“No you’re not” OR “You’re not depressed”
1. “I’m hungry.” – “No, You’re not”…. “I’m Happy” – “No, You’re not”… “I’m lonely.” –“Not you’re not.” See why this doesn’t help? I don’t think this requires thorough explanation.
“Just be happy.” OR “Get Over it”
1. Is it that easy? If someone is depressed and feeling helpless, is it as easy as just Not being depressed? Then please explain suicide to me. How is that someone can be so depressed as to kill themselves, if it seriously as easy as just NOT being depressed? Do you think that it would ever end in suicide if it was so binary?
“You can talk to me.”
1. When a person is depressed they will often times ignore it for as long as they can. It has a lot to do with not wanting to be a burden on other people, especially those that we love. Typically, when they reach out for help, it’s because it’s been getting worse. Maybe they’ve had “those” thoughts. Maybe they’ve made an attempt. Maybe they are just feeling worse. It’s hard to say. Overall, if someone brings themselves to trust you to the point of asking for help, then they are ASKING for help. They know they can talk to you. Telling them that they should do so can seem pushy or like you don’t understand.
“I’m here for you. I will help you. You can get better and we can get through this together.”
1. This is something you SHOULD say to someone that is asking for help. Saying that you are there for them may be the balance between them considering suicide and wanting to stay alive. They need help, they want help, and they want to get better. No one wants to feel hopeless or helpless. No one wants to feel down. ‘

One of the main things to remember is that you are their crutch. Without you, they may have nothing to live for in their mind. Having a decent job, a nice car, or money in the bank, doesn’t always equal happiness. You can look at someone from the outside and assume they are happy by the clothes they wear, or the car they drive, but honestly, that may mean nothing to them. In the end, the most important thing to do is simple; just be there. Be a friend, a lover, a sibling, a parent, or just a shoulder to lean on. One of biggest points of life is to help people that need help, and if you are being confronted with someone saying they are depressed, they are asking for help, and you are the person that they need it from.

It’s not easy, but the end product is worth it.

-Lucas C.

Some of these aren’t Cited, I just thought they were good sites to read.

Lights In The Sky

If I want to be a Writer, I have to write; right?

Have I mentioned I love LifeHack?

What not To say to someone that is Depressed