finding yourself

I would like to start this post out by saying that I think I may be coming out of my depression, or depression-like state. I won’t say for certain that I was or am depressed, as I have not been diagnosed or anything of that nature. I am however willing to say that, whatever I was in, I am coming out of. It may be temporary, it may be permanent, I don’t know. It started out last week, near the end of the week, I just started feeling…well…better. I’m still not in the clear, and it’s an uphill battle from here to undo what I’ve done to myself mentally, and to those I love, but it’ll get there. I’ve been doing a number of things a little differently, but there’s one thing that I changed very recently versus when I started to feel better (and by very recently I mean 24 hours prior). I added Turmeric capsules to my mornings (http://smile.amazon.com/dp/B0017OFR5Q). I’m not trying to sell these capsules, I have no stake in them, and I’m definitely not a case study by any means. Have they helped me? It’s possible, there was little time between when I started taking these and when my mood was elevated. I’ve kept taking them, and honestly, I’ve continued to feel ok. Is it strictly them? Probably not, I’ve been doing a number of things (writing, electro-experimental music creation, drawing, reading, etc.) that may be helping me, but one thing is for sure, they haven’t hurt. SO, my final suggestion, if you can spare the $11, give them a shot, they may help. If they don’t, you’re out $11 and can keep trying other things.

You may be asking yourself, is there any reason to expect that these are helpful for depression? The answer is a straight-forward, no-doubt-possible, 100% POSSIBLY. 1 2 3 4 5 There is no certainty, but it COULD help, and that’s the point I’m trying to make. If you are having trouble getting to the point you want to be, and don’t want to take Anti-Depressants (and while I understand the struggle mentally with taking AD’s, you should always consider the possibility if you find that nothing else works) maybe trying something natural could help some. They also smell like cinnamon in my opinion (or pizza in my lovely fiancé’s opinion.) Please remember that I am NOT A DOCTOR and am not able to offer any medical advice. I am here solely expressing that something MAY help, and it’s up to you figure out the rest. If it helps, great, if not, keep trying. Again, if you are severely depressed, or depressed in general, you should consider seeing a doctor. There is always the possibility that anti-depressants are what will help you. I want nothing more than for those suffering to get better.

I don’t really have much to discuss today, so I think I’ll find another article to discuss. I’ve mentioned that I love the site Lifehack.org6. They post stories regularly in one of 6 main categories, but have a total of 16 topics that they discuss frequently. The 6 are the top level and the rest are sub categories. Regardless, it is easy to find things that you want to read on the site. I spend most of my time in the subcategories of… well…Honestly I looked them over and couldn’t choose one or two. I think the ONLY ones I don’t go to are iOS and mac, and that’s because they don’t honestly interest me.

LifeHack is your typical “X number of things that…” style of website like Cracked or Buzzfeed. Granted I think that Cracked is funny and Buzzfeed is, well, Buzzfeed, Lifehack has stories that grab my interest, and has honestly found its place in my PaperMind. I love their style, I love their topics, and I love their categories. Right now, I’m reading an article that I would like to discuss, because it may help some people out of a rut. The article on Lifehack.org that I am reading is titled “10 Morning Habits of Highly Successful People that Make Them Extraordinary.”7

This article is your fairly typical LifeHack article. They do their research, they list the ideas, and they explain them. I love the way they present their information, and honestly I would love to dissect their articles and present them to my readers (all 3 of you, I love you all!) and potentially learn something. So here we go… Due to me not wanting to type 5000 words, I am going to cut this list down to the points that I feel are most important. I still suggest you read the article, and do your own research on the matters.

Indra Nooyi (The CEO Of Pepsi) wakes up REALLY EARLY. This sounds like “early bird gets the worm” hodgepodge, but there may actually be some truth to it. LifeHack touts that waking up early gives you more time in your day, and more time that you have control over. I couldn’t agree more with these statements. If you have to be at work at 8:30AM, but often times find yourself waking up at 7:40AM, with a 15 minute drive between home and work (guilty…) you pretty much have 35 minutes between rushing out of bed to the minute you have to rush out the door. That leaves no time for yourself, and puts you in a work state of mind directly out of sleep. That’s a horrible idea as you are immediately introducing stress into your day and you go from sleeping to stress right off the plate. The alternative suggestion is waking up earlier in the day. There are actually known benefits to waking up earlier8. It’s actually more natural to wake up earlier than it is to sleep in, the world wakes up with the sun, and that’s what we should be doing as well. Another benefit is, as stated above, having more you time. Having time for yourself to do those things you want to do is incredibly important for your well-being. Sure, you aren’t going be able to go to the movies at 5:43 in the morning, but you can go for a walk, watch something on Netflix, paint, draw, learn a new skill….Opportunities are honestly endless. I’m not going to go through all of the benefits, but I’ve put some decent, and fairly quick reads in the sources. 9 10
Tony Robbins (A Motivational Speaker) says that you should do an HOUR OF POWER! This sounds cheesy. Oh yes, yes indeed it does. You know why? Because it is cheesy! What exactly is an hour of power? It’s time taken to listen to/Do anything that motivates you. Maybe you could spend your time being motivated by the current top selling audiobook. Maybe a youtube search of Motivational videos is what you need. Maybe your motivation comes from exercise, prayer, meditation or goal setting11. Whatever it is, DO IT! Doing so will help you feel better from the beginning of the day, straight through the end of the day. Basically, if it makes you scream “CARPE DIEM!” do it in the morning before you are obligated to doing anything else. Oh, and LifeHack suggests doing it for 30 minutes…that actually makes this a half hour of power…
Steve jobs (You probably know who this guy was) says that you should ask yourself one question. And that question is “If today was the last day of my life, would I still want to do what I am about to do today?” No lie, the answer is probably always going to be no for me. If I knew that it was going to be my last day, I wouldn’t pack up my laptop, get in my car and drive 15 minutes down K-10 to the office. However, reflecting on your dislike of your job isn’t the purpose of this question. The purpose is to get you to think about how you are living your life and what you should change. If you find yourself answering no regularly, then you should consider a change. I’ve linked another WP blog 13 that has a ton more information, including the video where he said this quote, in the references. I’m not a huge fan of Apple or Jobs, but this is an inspirational question.
Brian Tracy (an Author) States that you should eat a frog…not really. Ok, so he didn’t actually say eat a frog, but eat YOUR frog. Once you get into your motivated state, and you’ve answered the hard hitting questions, you should look at the things you desperately need to get done, but have been putting off. Essentially, the purpose of the “eat the Frog” idea is to get you to do one of 4 things 13 (Hey look, my research led me back to Lifehack!) Something you want to do, but don’t necessarily need to do. Something you don’t want to do, but need to do. Something you want to do and need to do. And/Or Something you don’t want to do, and don’t necessarily need to do. There’s an order in which you should do the things, but I look at this way, if you do anything, and you get it out of the way, then you’ve done something, and that is all that matters.
Christin Galib (a banking executive) says that you should Plan and Strategize. I’m not surprised to see this kind of thing on this list. One of the biggest things you can do is map out what you are going to do with your day, with your week, year and even life. Using a strategy, or a laid out plan, to handle everything can actually help people that have attention issues, or need help following a plan. I suggest doing things from a larger picture and drawing them down to the microscopic point of view. Start with the BIG things, what are you wanting out of life. Do you have a set goal? If so, Write it down, if you have several, write them all down and map them together. The next thing to do is to mark it down to the year, what do you want to accomplish by the end of 20XX. (I’m stopping there, because I’m guessing that by 2100 nobody will be reading my blog). Bring this in to the end of the week, and then the end of the day. Rework the goals as the weeks/days pass. Overall, the main reasoning here is so you have clearly defined goals along a clearly defined path.

So there you have it, the 5 top things that I agree with. The other 5 are good, BUT I felt that these 5 were the better, and I didn’t want to write a book here. The other 5 are included below, but I still implore you to please go read the article and continue on.

Don’t stare directly at the sun.

Lucas C.

REMAINDER:

Ursula Burns (the CEO of XEROX) says to burn your calories.
Wendy Key (pharmaceutical Exec) says to jot down in your gratitude journal.
Obie Mackenzi (BlackRob Managing Director) tells you to connect with your partnet.
Manisha Thakor (MoneyZen wealth management) says to meditate and CLEAR YOUR MIND
Judi Rosenthal (a financial planner) challenges you to cuddle and bond with your children.

Alright, now that I’ve established that I like to write and that a blog is the best way for me to express myself and my personal ideas, I would like to move on to something other than depression. Depression is a serious topic, and a serious problem, and it deserves a good amount of the limelight, but I’d like to be a blog that is more diverse, that explores anything that comes to mind, makes me happy, and deserves a 5 minute conversation and so forth. If I remember correctly I mentioned that I keep a notebook of thoughts, quotes, and other little things that make me happy. It’s something that I keep near me when I’m at work, and its available most of the time when I get home. I started it quite a while ago, though I don’t remember when, but it’s been significant in helping me find myself. It started as me rambling or recording thoughts to read later, and it has done its job, though I don’t think I’ve actually gone back and read anything I wrote. Because I want to change that, posting what I wrote and why I think I wrote it will help to better establish a personal understanding. Who know, I may help someone else with my thoughts as well.

The notebook is just that, a small insignificant notebook. The front is white and blue with some random written thoughts. The top left is branded with the word “Quill.com”, then it is named the bland name of “Steno Notebook”. The bottom left indicates that its pages are 6” x 9” Gregg ruled white sheets. It also states that it has 80 individual sheets within the notebook, which is easily doubled by using the back of the page, meaning that there are a potential of 160 pages and two covers to decorate with my thoughts. The final thing that was printed by the company that sells them is the Reorder number, which is SBNW¹. Overall, the notebook is bland, cheap and honestly unexciting. In looking it over, and deciding what to put in it, I think it needs a name, and I have one that I have given it (as of this posting). From here on I shall refer to my notebook as PaperMind. To make it official, I wrote it on the top…so there…its name is PaperMind. It has no back story…it’s just a notebook.

All that being said, and now that I’ve described its branding marks, I’d like to move on to what I’ve written on the cover. The cover is one of the most important things about this notebook because it’s the first thing I see every time I pick it up. If I write something on the cover, it has to be something that I can read over and over and feel that it continues to hold its weight. My favorite thing about what I’ve written on the front is that they make me smile, or make me think. So…again 500 words in… Here’s what I have written on the cover, and what it all means to me.

“Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy.”²
- Based on the source I posted, this quote is found all over the place. I don’t remember where I found it, but it struck me. It’s a strong quote that really helps you to look at where you are and where you should be. While “letting go” is not always something that can easily be done, it’s a strong quote and it tells the truth. If you let go of anything that doesn’t serve you in any way, grow you, or make you happy, you will be happier.
“Memento Mori. Carpe Diem.”³
- Ah yes, the ever powerful Latin quotes. In looking at the quote, it appears I may have written it backwards but the meaning is the same. Memento Mori is essentially “Remember mortality.” It basically means ‘remember that you are mortal’. Mortality is a painful thought, but it helps. If you know that you have a time constraint, then you are less likely to waste that time. I think we all know what “Carpe Diem” means, but to those that don’t it means “Seize the day”, or essentially “live each day like it’s your last, make the most out of the day, etc, etc.”. So, all together, “Remember Mortality. Seize the day.”
“Don’t Exist. Live!”⁴
- This is apparently the start to a quote by Brian Krans. Looking at the full quote, I actually like it more than just the first segment. Regardless, for the cover, this quote is a strong one. It’s not enough to exist, you have to live. Everyone exists, everyone is part of a messed up reality that you can’t change, but no one else can live your life. Don’t be a number, don’t be a statistic, don’t be a name, just be you, the person.
“Your life is historically meaningful, and spans a significant time.”^{5 and 6}
- This is a segment of the song “Sorrow” by Bad Religion. I was actually listening to it this morning on my drive to work. It came on my stereo through the magical art of “shuffling” the songs on my music player. I was going to skip it initially, but I decided that it would be a nice morning song, Bad Religion has never steered me wrong. I listened to it 4 times on my way in. I didn’t realize how awesome this song was and it actually helped me to smile.
“We are the most aggressively inarticulate generation to come along since, ya know, a long time ago” & “Say what you believe in a manner that bespeaks the determination with which you believe it. Because, contrary to the wisdom of the bumper sticker, it is not enough these days to simply QUESTION AUTHORITY. You have to SPEAK with it, too” ⁷
- These both come directly from one of my idols; Taylor Mali⁸ and his slam poem “Totally Like Whatever, You know?” ⁷Taylor Mali, for anyone that doesn’t know who he is, is a slam poet and teacher. He has written some of the greatest poems that I have ever heard, and I HIGHLY recommend listening to some of the things he’s done.
“Every great story on the planet happened when someone decided not to give up, but kept going no matter what.” – Spryte Lorrano
- This quote is a little generic, but I felt that it was good. It is a strong statement about not giving up and how not giving up can lead to having a great story to tell. That’s how I feel with this blog…with my book….with everything.

So there they are. These are what I’ve decided to put on the inside/outside cover of the PaperMind. They may mean nothing to you, but I love them and, honestly, they were strong enough to make a difference to me.

As a side note I’d like to recommend an awesome blog… http://www.365go.me . This is a daily blog made by a woman that used to work at the company that I currently work for. She retired and decided to take the time to find herself. She’s had some interesting stories to tell, she’s gone through hardships, but best of all, she’s just writing to figure out who she is. I wish I had the money to retire and do this too, but that’s not important. What is important is that I’m taking the time to find myself now in my own way…

No matter where you are, never forget where you came from. It’s these trials and hard times that formed the foundation on which you now walk.

-Lucas C.

Lights In The Sky

If I want to be a Writer, I have to write; right?

Have I mentioned I love LifeHack?

PaperMind begins.