Away for way too long

It feels like forever since you and I last spoke. It looks like I last posted in September…now how have I managed to be away from my lovely Lights in the Sky for sooooo long?

Anyways, let’s talk.

I’m feeling better. Since we last spoke I’ve had 2 mental breaks. 2 in almost 5 months. That’s good for me! One of them was just me being…well…me. I have zero-tolerance for stupidity, and unfortunately I was met with what I thought to be stupidity. It lashed out, I exploded, then I left the scene for a bit. It was what had to happen. I had to walk away from the stress, no matter how much I didn’t want to. Driving in the snow is a fantastic way to gather your thoughts, even if it’s just a few blocks and back. The other time…ooooh the other time. It wasn’t my fault; the stresses of life gathered themselves upon me and decided that I needed to be kicked repeatedly. I think I’ll be OK though. I hope I’ll be OK. If not…well that’s a bridge I’ll have to cross later.

I have been trying to work on a few things as of late. First and foremost, I want to stop myself from holding on to things. I want to be able to let go of things as I need. These can be physical, emotional, or any combination of the two. I tend to keep my grip on things that I love, and on things that affect me. My physical connections typically manifest themselves in a messy house. My emotional ones manifest in dreams, and oh how I hate these dreams. I had one last night that I don’t want to really talk about, but it was… well… it just was. It hurt. I woke up from it and found myself dwelling on it all morning. It involved my past, and I hate my past. The person I was prior to being the person I am now is someone that I wish I never was. Regardless, I dismissed it after a while, but it keeps flashing into my mind randomly and bumming me out. I wish my memory worked in a manner that would allow me to just delete it, but alas, I can’t.

The next thing I’ve been working on is my habit of worrying about the future. Being in my early/mid twenties I’ve found that I worry about what’s going to happen in the future. Be it debt, death, or anything lined in a thick layer of uncertainty, I tend to let the preparation of said events take over my life. There was a point in my life where I consistently told myself that “Right now is all that matters”. As I’ve slipped into my twenties I’ve found that I no longer can live by that philosophy.

Regardless… I’m going to go home now. I’m going to spend my night, not dwelling, and not worrying about the future…

Until Next Time!
TheWriter

Butterflies and Moths

The human life cycle is much like that of a butterfly’s. In the beginning we are a caterpillar, making our ways to the limbs out on which we must walk. We find the most comfortable branch and settle,, until we find it’s time for us to consider changing things. We then pupate and wrap ourselves in a cocoon, making sure that we remain warm and comfortable all the while preparing for the next big thing. We have done all that we can as a caterpillar, and have decided that we want to blossom into a gorgeous butterfly, fluttering gracefully on the warm summer breeze, reaching heights that we never dreamed of prior. We wait and we wait, preparing ourselves for that big moment when we can burst out of our shell and take the world head-on. However, not all caterpillars are destined to be the great monarch, some of them turn into moths. Moths, while helpful, tend to be drab and colorless, and they are typically looked over no more than once. You see them and think ‘Oh hey, a moth.’ but they aren’t something you point out to people near you. This isn’t always true, some moths are absolutely gorgeous, the Brahmin, the Luna, the hawkmoth, the atlas and white witch moth, the Io Moth, the leopard and even the Death’s head moth, but those are not the norm like the common Quaker moth. The Moths that are beautiful are the ones that you gawk over because of how unexpected it is to see a moth so gorgeous. When you hear the word moth you think grey, drab, sitting on the side of a building or smacking blindly into a light bulb. When you hear butterfly, you think colorful, graceful insect, enjoying the sweet nectar of nature’s prettiest flowers.

Which would you rather be? A butterfly or a moth? Would you like to the be the one that is revered and loved, and pointed out as you flutter your way as high as you can go? Or would you rather be the gray one, while interesting, typically ignored by most.

On that same note…consider what stage of the game you’re in? Are you still the caterpillar trying to find your limb? Are you still the cocoon, waiting, preparing, or have you already hatched, and become one of the above?

These are the kinds of things that I think when I look at information on insects….

-Lucas C.

This is my shortest post so far, and the only one to be written purely from my mind…it required no research…I don’t know why that’s important, but…wooh!